Do You Feel You Are So Shy or Have Social Issues that are Keeping You from a Better Life

I grew up in a dysfunctional environment and because of that I did not learn social skills. I was active in my church as a youth, but I was always an outsider who was “allowed” to be part of the group. I saw the social interactions between the other youth, but I was not skilled in those “social graces.”  I did not know it at that time, but I  had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder making it even harder to interact naturally.

A MUST READ

A MUST READ

(Available through Amazon.com, Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million and other brick and mortar stores)

In my recent book, “Scar Wars Forged In Fright” I tell of living with, dealing with, and healing from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In my case, it was caused by severe mental, physical, and sexual abuse. In the book, it details some of the therapy processes that I went through in order to heal.

After healing from PTSD, I was on shaky ground. You see socially I was shy and timid. I did not feel I belonged in the “regular society”, but I was wrong. I had been infertile for 15 years in that time I had 3 miscarriages, but finally God blessed me with a daughter. And that’s when I knew I had to become part of regular society. I could not let my dysfunctional relationship with society hurt my precious daughter’s future in any way.  I wanted to break the cycle of seclusion that led to lies and abuse in my childhood

Oh, I was scared. But I took a step every day towards becoming a social person. Not the facade everyone knew, but the genuine me.  Since that day, I have been taking steps to get where I am now. I went back to college, authored a book, and became a Certified Professional Coach and Group Facilitator.

I learned through a long, hard, and lonely process how to become able to interact “within society” not just with society.

I want people to know this is an attainable goal! I have learned tips and tricks to make things go more smoothly for a person to ease back into society’s realms.

Through my courses with the International Coach Certification Academy, I have learned more techniques and how to obtain feasible goals. The last part of my training was experiential (hands on) and I graduated at the top of my class. I worked hard for that Certification because I want to help others that may be standing in the shoes I used to wear.

As an Author, I want my book to make an impact on people about healing from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but as an International Certified Coach I want to take people beyond just healing wounds. I want to help repair lives.

Some people may not have been touched by PTSD, Maybe you just have Social Anxiety or just maybe you do not feel comfortable in your place in society. Maybe it is holding you back in relationships or in your career.

I am by no means a “Perfect Person” now. But I am constantly seeking to better my own life and using the techniques I have learned from my education through the International Coach Certification Academy and through the trials and tribulations in my own life trying to integrate into society I have a lot of knowledge to share.

How would you like to be able to be involved in church events, take college courses, go on dates, talk to your co-workers without fear of judgement? These are things I have learned on my journey and there is so much more!

 

Advertisements
Posted in Author, Certified Personal Coach, Certified Professional Coach, Coaching Practice, For Hope and Salvation, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Publishing a Book, Today is a Good Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Peek Into the Beginning Procedures In My Coaching Practice

Are you a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, experiencing any of the following PTSD-related interpersonal problems in your adult life?

You struggle in social situations because you feel awkward and constantly on-guard around people—not only strangers—but even among family members and friends where you intellectually know you’re safe.
It feels draining to be around people because you’re constantly scanning the room to find the nearest exit so you can escape the panic that comes up into your throat as you struggle to hold your emotions in check so you don’t lose your cool or break into tears or anger for no apparent reason, as other people gather around you or touch you—no matter how innocently or how kindly they seem.
You find meeting new people to be extremely exhausting because you’re constantly worrying about whether or not you can trust them and you keep trying to look for hidden clues to determine who they really are—and you’re constantly trying to figure out if they’re saying what they really mean or whether they are just waiting for you to let your guard down so they can take advantage of you.
And…
You hate feeling so vulnerable all the time—constantly wondering if you’re safe? And, you feel this never-ending sense of inadequacy and self-doubt? So that in new social settings you end up being the one sitting in a corner, or hunched-over, not-making eye-contact with anyone, just fumbling with your hands, and looking at the floor?
Or   you go to the other extreme and ask a lot of repetitive questions trying desperately to get your bearings in this new setting—and only end up making everyone feel uncomfortable or awkward around you?
You find that you feel inadequate and constantly doubt your ability and need constant reassuring that you’re doing things right? All of this makes you want to just hide from the world?
Does the constant stress cause you to feel so overwhelmed that you’re often crying or screaming at your children—or even worse—distancing yourself from your children so that you can protect them from your anger or completely ignoring your children’s needs?
Are your children’s behavior or their reactions towards you worrying you and making you feel like you’re not good enough to be their parent? Does this make you feel little or no sense of self-worth? Even after all the therapy and knowing that the abuse was not your fault—do you still feel vulnerable?
Do you feel like a failure because your life is not the way you know it can—and should be – even after all the hard work you’ve done to understand yourself?
If you’re a sexual abuse victim who is experiencing any of these interpersonal and social skills problems—even after therapy—and they are interfering with your job, or ruining your relationship with your spouse, or your children, or making it hard to develop the close friendships you so long for, and
You…
Desperately want to drop these unproductive patterns and adopt new clear-cut skills to help you trust others and love your family without fear; to end your hyper-vigilance and self-doubt in new or unfamiliar social situations; and, to finally build a life that makes you feel worthy and self-confident and deserving—whether at work or with your children or when developing new friendships—
AND if you want to accomplish these goals, focusing on your strengths – your amazing intuition and sensitivity which naturally will draw the right types of people [and avoid those you’re not interested in] and help you access the right types of responses to life situations – so you are gracefully and flexibly in control —Then I can help you.
My Breakthrough the Scars Process will help you to improve your interpersonal relationships by bridging the social skills gap left by your sexual abuse trauma. You will learn what to say and do at work, with your children, with family and friends, as well as in in new social situations to make sure that you get the respect you’ve earned at work, are loved by your children, and are comfortable in any social environment.
I will help you not just survive, but actually THRIVE
It took me years to learn how to make my life work and so I know that I can get you where you want to be because the 6 steps I found during my journey that worked for me.
But, I don’t want you to have to learn these lessons the hard way like I did and that’s why I’m making my battle-tested method available to you NOW—so you can win your own battle with the interpersonal relationship fallout of childhood sexual abuse—but with far less scars.
As an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, by the early 90’s my life was in a shambles. Flashbacks, nightmares, and depression were my constant companions. My social life was embarrassingly deficient and dysfunctional. Therapy led me to understand that I was suffering from PTSD and helped me heal from the emotional scars and trauma of the abuse.
But, therapy did not prepare me to properly interact with others outside the cocoon of my therapeutic relationships. I still needed to learn the social skills that I never learned as a damaged child or suffering adult. Social interactions left me wracked with anxiety and hyper-vigilant.
            .
I could not even imagine comfortably interacting with strangers. Even in the safety of large family gatherings I was so scared at the thought of having to interact with everyone that I would always keep my back to the wall and I would start to panic if too many people gathered around me.
My fears and anxiety and discomfort were so crippling I was paralyzed and incapable of taking action, making decisions or accomplishing anything. At 30 years old, with only a high school education, I felt the only thing I was qualified to do was work at burger joints being supervised by teenage managers. It was demeaning. I was sick of living like this.
Worse was the overwhelming sense of foreboding that I couldn’t shake—like my worst fears were going to come true. I feared that not only was my life in ruins, but that I was about to ruin my own sweet daughter’s life. And my daughter was my life’s dream come true.
After struggling for 15 years to have my daughter I could in no way let the dysfunction in my life create dysfunction in her life. All I ever wanted from the time I was a child was to be a wonderful, loving, successful mother. Whatever decision I had to make or whatever I had to do to prevent this dysfunctional cycle from continuing, I would make that change!
This decision gave my life and my struggles new purpose, direction, and true meaning. This decision helped me to confront my fears instead of running away from them.
Since then not one day has gone by, not one single day, when I haven’t consciously taken at least one step to create a better life for me and my daughter.
Once I made the decision that it was more important to me to be the kind of mom that would give my daughter the best chance to have the quality of life she deserves – and break the dysfunctional cycle—I felt more in control than I have ever felt. And amazingly, I discovered that confronting my fears actually gave me my power back.
It hasn’t been easy. In reality it’s often been really tough some days. I’ve had to stumble through painfully embarrassing conversations and resist the urge to run away and hide from the world, instead I started forcing myself to linger after church and chat with church members.
Now I have learned to be a voice for others going through difficult struggles of their own.
But, I had to make all these decisions and put them into action by myself alone.  Going forward I was always journaling the mistakes I made and immediately set out to correct them. Now when I need information about something I find someone adept in that area. Often, I only had my faith in God to rely on to give me the strength and courage to continue.
While I am still shy with people—at first—I no longer run and hide in a corner. I confront my fears head-on. Every day, I continually challenge myself to do new things and put myself in new social situations.
I joined and actively participate in a women’s group that loves to go to the symphony and to the theater to see the newest movie in town or even the newest Opera.
I went back to college and excelled as a student, overcoming my shyness and fear of social interaction because my need to learn was more important than the fear of raising my hand and asking questions.
Getting started on my education led me to becoming an author. I have authored three books “Scar Wars Forged In Fright” is the story of my overcoming a severely abusive childhood and the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that I unknowingly suffered with for years afterwards, and my eventual first steps on the road to healing and recovery through therapy.
I continued writing and self-published my second book “The Thinnest Loser”, a story about what happens when you do not confront an unacceptable behavior in its early stages.(Available only on Amazon Kindle)
I am now writing my third book ” Creating a Prayer Relationship” and hoping to publish it by early 2016.
Writing, publishing, marketing, and building a social platform online all took me through social interactions and situations which I have not only survived, but taught me to Thrive while interacting with new people.
Just in the last year …
I have become a Certified Professional Coach with the International Coach Certification Academy
I’m a member of the National Association of Non-Fiction Authors
I have become a member of the National Association of Professional women
I  have become a volunteer expert for AllExperts.com for Living With Disabilities
I have become a member of the Lunchtime Bloggers Meetup Group
I have become a member of the Pen and Plot Writer’s Group
I have become a member of Toastmasters
I am a socially active member of my church
And I am now a Hospice Volunteer.
I have numerous social accounts including Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Aboutme.com, and LinkedIn where I frequently and consistently interact
Most importantly, I have raised a daughter who is socially adept. I am SO proud of her and also proud of myself. Although my daughter is shy around strangers at first—just like her mom—she is not paralyzed by social interactions and is active in many social functions. She was even a Varsity cheerleader. For the first time, I know what it is to enjoy my life.
YOU too CAN reach this same level of contentment, joy and confidence. I KNOW that YOU CAN OVERCOME your own interpersonal struggles. YOU CAN LEARN the social skills that will make you feel comfortable while mingling with other people. My Progressive Goal Setting Program will teach you steps to take to meet your own social goals. I know how to help you do this and get you far more comfortable as you develop the tools you need to both envision and achieve your very own happy healthy future.
This is why I have designed my Breakthrough the Scars Coaching Program.  Six Steps that give you the tools to stop the dysfunction and create a positive approach to people and situations in your own life.
  1.   Decide what you really want & what makes it so meaningful to you. The best way to control your future is to choose it. So, when you decide your future, you control it.
 2. Safely Confront your worst fear—not running away from it. When you can NAME it. You can TAME it.
 3. Create a new story to share with others. If your life was a GREAT made-for-television movie, how would you want it to be viewed? If you can imagine your new story then you’ll know what to do each day to create it.
 4. Take ONE action every day that will move you towards the story you’ve designed for your life.
 5. Eliminate dysfunctional ideas by learning new patterns on how to make healthy decisions for you and your family’s sake.
 6. Go from Survivor to Thriver – Life is so much more satisfying when we can actually thrive and enjoy it.
I have learned that confronting fear gives me back my power and confidence. No one should live locked away and imprisoned for life—especially after surviving abuse. The world is an amazing and beautiful place—and you have the right to enjoy it. That privilege is one I want you to reach out and grab.
I am not a therapist. I am here to help you “after” you have started the healing process. Therapy unlocks the door of your cage.
Now it’s time to develop the courage and confidence to step out into the light and explore your world.
Now is the time to use the tools you will learn through my program to enjoy your new freedom.
Now is the time to find your purpose and learn about joy.
Take my hand. You don’t have to go it alone like I did. I understand. I know. I have been there. I know about putting the broken pieces back together. You CAN make this journey. AND, you don’t have to do it alone. We can do this together. Your success and freedom are closer than you think.
“Julie is a precious gift to those of us who really need someone who understands how it feels to juggle a lot of inner conflict, and who knows how to help us make some sense of our lives. I know she helped me!” Mia Landau
 “Julie Pitts has been my friend for thirty-five years – a friend in every good sense of that word. She does not intrude or push, but is a great support to me during times of crisis. Seeing her strength and perseverance while she dealt with PTSD has inspired me on my own journey learning to live in peace with Bipolar Disorder.
I would recommend Julie Pitts to ANYONE that is going through struggles of their own. – Dawn E. Smith
“Julie Pitts is one of the most determined persons I have known. She came to me seeking help after a very devastating experience with another therapist. Julie was determined not to give up and she did not give up but she gave it her all to strengthen herself and overcome the effects of the abuse she had experienced. While in therapy Julie reached out to others and shared her experiences and listened to others and learned from them. She is truly a remarkable person who is now ready to lend a hand to others and share her experiences with the hope of being a beacon for someone else. This takes a special person and Julie is that person. I wish her well.” – Judy A. Glaister, PhD
“Julie, having been through all that she has, is a loving, caring, compassionate and grounded coach who is able relate to her clients in a very tangible way, walk with them and help them move forward to a place of peace and readiness to embrace life in their own way.  I had the pleasure of working with her one-to-one and in a group setting and found her to be very professional and empathetic, and someone who truly has a heart for her work in helping others.” – Sheryl Floris C.P.C.
Call: for a free 30 minute session
256-522-1284
863-448-3355
or you can email and ask questions at authorjlpitts@yahoo.com

 

Posted in Certified Personal Coach, Certified Professional Coach, Coaching Practice, Depression, J.L. Pitts, Joy, Life of Abundance, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Today is a Good Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Deep of Darkness

This is a poem I felt compelled to write on a day I had forgotten to take my antidepressants for like the third time that week:

The blackness has come again

It writhes around my body as it blocks out the light

I can feel the cuttings on my arms begging to be opened up

There must be more scars

The pain is piercing my heart

Crying for mercy

It does not help to cry out as usual

The sound is just a whisper of my self

All is well with the world

Accomplishments have been made

But I do not care about them anyway

Not now! I am happy!

Why do you come to steal my joy?

You take the joy, the light, the hope away in seconds

Who gave you the power? Not God

God is Good! My own wretched self has brought you back to my door

I hate her! Why does she search for you when I have joy?

I will fight you with the lightning

The spasm ridding you from my body

I must stay no matter how afraid I get

It is for my own good

Memories will be wiped away again

What thoughts will I lose

To gain my joy I must lose part of my mind

This proves there is no real existence in a life of depression

Why did I think I could come home

Why would I be so selfish as to cast the weight of darkness over my family

Unworthy, selfish, greedy for more life

Life was denied to me at birth when my mother would not hold

the thing that caused her such pain

I am pain incarnate

Those that come near to me feel it inside themselves

That is why my life has no personal interactions

Dreams came true but did not change the truth

Of what I truly am

How can I love the people who would love this person I am

The darkness drowns me

Pulling me under the place of breathing

Mother has been given more pain from the bowels of darkness within me

No words from her lips no sighs of her heart

Just unending deafening silence

The words were just and true

But to write them for the world to see

Broke the rules of how we play family

I am not the silent one any longer

But now I must be silenced

The silence from childhood was mandated by my mind

Now will they attempt to silence me with exclussion

No more will I rest in the house of rehabilitation

To me they have made it a fortress

My words so sharp and unyielding cut the tie that binds

As sharp as the pain Mother felt when they could finally cut the cord

Pain has always separated us

I was never really an insider

Just an inside joke.

 

 

Posted in Bad Day, Depression, J.L. Pitts, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A Winter Day Escapes! Want to Read a Book? Need a Certified Professional Coach?

Here in Northern Alabama we woke up to 29 degrees! It was 77 degrees one day last week. The Spring Equinox did happen! But this winter day has come to challenge us once more. Maybe we were all too busy to be thankful for the warm days and this is a reminder of what we have been dealing with all winter. Let’s talk about needs. Do You need a good book to curl up with or do you need a Certified Professional Coach? Read On!

It is a good Saturday to curl up with a book snuggle down in the bed and read a book! I personally recommend “Scar Wars Forged In Fright”. It is available on Amazon Kindle. Oh, you say you do not have a kindle? GUESS WHAT? Amazon has a program you can download to be able to read Kindle books on most devices! Read On!

A MUST READ

A MUST READ

I have been very busy. After My book debuted I finished my Certification to be a Professional Coach. Yes, It is true. I am a Certified PProfessional Coach. I am working in the area of people having Social Issues. Too shy, introvert? You can take a Myers-Briggs test online ( Here is a free site to take the test http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp). I have a 6-week program that is a goal setting system to help you become more at ease in social situations. I specialize in coaching people recovering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, who meet the criteria ( must have had therapy for PTSD or are currently in therapy).  Wondering what it would be like? Call and make an appointment for a free complimentary 30-minute  session. You can reach me at:

256-522-1284

saelee2@yahoo.com

I am only taking on a few private clients because I am setting up  my new support  groups for Coaching  called PTSD: Survivors to Thrivers, in my area. I am running a 50% off fees for one year in April. Limited number of placements.( Applicable to one 6 weeks program for the year) This is on a first come basis.

Certified Professional Coach                                                                                             International Coach Certification Academy                                                                                      I cannot diagnose, treat, or cure any diseases

Posted in Certified Personal Coach, Certified Professional Coach, Disability, For Hope and Salvation, Homeless Veterans, Hurtful Words, Mental Health, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Publishing a Book, Suicide Prevention, Today is a Good Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Goodreads Giveaway

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Scar Wars Forged In Fright by J.L. Pitts

Scar Wars Forged In Fright

by J.L. Pitts

Giveaway ends April 26, 2015.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Posted in Goodreads Giveaway | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Come Be Part Of a “Group Think Tank” About Problems Interacting Within Today’s Society

You do not have to have had PTSD to be held back by shyness, or feel an inadequacy to function in today’s society. Anyone who has ever had any type of social interaction problem,  I consider having  a valuable opinion to add to this “Group Think Tank.”

If you do not want to be part of a call you can leave a comment on your opinions or personal story (which will remain private) No names or emails will be shared except my own

J.L. Pitts (Julie)

saelee2@yahoo.com

256-522-1284

 

I am taking a poll to see if anyone would be interested in doing ” a group think tank conference call” to help me with my new position as a Certified Professional Coach Specializing in PTSD Social Integration.

After you leave therapy and sometimes during therapy,  there is a time of just feeling refreshed now that you have the tools to get a handle on and manage the symptoms of PTSD.  I want to know about the aspects of integrating back into society that you are facing. I personally went through an awkward stage of  trying to become part of society after I left therapy. Why, you ask? Because I had come from some major dysfunctional family interactions, as a child I knew how to “act normal” but, I did not know how to truly interact with  other people, make friends with healthy boundaries or be able to attend social functions without fear of “not fitting in”

I want to know what are your thoughts about social integration and PTSD. The PTSD can be caused by any trauma and war vets are welcome and encouraged to participate. It would just be a group of people talking on a call, most likely about experiences they have in common. So if you have PTSD caused by any trauma and are having any trouble with social situations. Please, take the time to answer the poll question. I don’t need or require your personal  information. Just to know if you are interested. Then if I can get even two more people to join the “think tank call” It will be worth the effort to know the minds of people who are dealing with social issues right now.

 

 

 

Posted in Blog For Mental Health 2014, bond between soldiers, Certified Personal Coach, For Hope and Salvation, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Certified Professional Coach specializing in PTSD Social Integration

To read about my own Journey of how I healed from PTSD, read my recentlyJulie_cover_3 released book “Scar Wars Forged In Fright” Available through Amazon.com Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble and soon to other Brick and Mortar Stores.

 

Today I was awarded my certification to be a Certified Professional Coach. Well, Awarded in the sense that I EARNED IT! My specialty is to help people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to be able to Socially Integrate outside of the therapeutic realm, My clients have to be currently in therapy or have had therapy for the Disorder. I cannot diagnose, treat, or cure PTSD or any other mental illness that causes this loss of societal interaction. Through tools and techniques and setting achievable goals, my plan is to help people transfer from closely monitored therapeutic settings into real life situations in today’s society. All from the privacy of your home.

Is there such a need? Yes, as a Survivor of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder it is imperative not to leave out this critical step in the process of returning to these normal  activities of society. For some people who have  been through therapy, this is not a problem but there are others who are like I was. I was strong and capable in a therapeutic setting often even leading during group therapy, but when I left therapy I struggled with the process of reintegrating into society. Fears, Anxieties, and the struggle to use what tools I had learned in therapy in regular social situations was sometimes too overwhelming and so I closed myself off. But I learned the hard way to interact socially over the last 20 years, as I went from victim to Survivor and now on to Thriver by the grit of my teeth. But it does not have to be like that for you.  Setting attainable goals and achieving them is the best way to learn how to become a Thriver.

I am Certified by The International Coach Certification and am now a Certified Professional Coach that specializes in PTSD Social Integration.. Join  with me on this new part of my Journey. I have limited space but have two openings coming up in April.  This is all completely confidential and your privacy will be taken seriously. Call 256-522-1284 for a free 30-minute assessment. If you get an answering machine I will get back to you as quickly as possible.

If you are in a life threatening situation call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800=273-8255!

Ask me How to become a Certified Professional Coach!

Posted in Author, BOOK RELEASE, Certified Professional Coach, For Hope and Salvation, Freelance Writer, God's Will, Homeless Veterans, Joy, Life of Abundance, Mental Health, Pain, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Suicide Prevention, The Light of The World, Today is a Good Day | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment