A Peek Into the Beginning Procedures In My Coaching Practice

Are you a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, experiencing any of the following PTSD-related interpersonal problems in your adult life?

You struggle in social situations because you feel awkward and constantly on-guard around people—not only strangers—but even among family members and friends where you intellectually know you’re safe.
It feels draining to be around people because you’re constantly scanning the room to find the nearest exit so you can escape the panic that comes up into your throat as you struggle to hold your emotions in check so you don’t lose your cool or break into tears or anger for no apparent reason, as other people gather around you or touch you—no matter how innocently or how kindly they seem.
You find meeting new people to be extremely exhausting because you’re constantly worrying about whether or not you can trust them and you keep trying to look for hidden clues to determine who they really are—and you’re constantly trying to figure out if they’re saying what they really mean or whether they are just waiting for you to let your guard down so they can take advantage of you.
You hate feeling so vulnerable all the time—constantly wondering if you’re safe? And, you feel this never-ending sense of inadequacy and self-doubt? So that in new social settings you end up being the one sitting in a corner, or hunched-over, not-making eye-contact with anyone, just fumbling with your hands, and looking at the floor?
Or   you go to the other extreme and ask a lot of repetitive questions trying desperately to get your bearings in this new setting—and only end up making everyone feel uncomfortable or awkward around you?
You find that you feel inadequate and constantly doubt your ability and need constant reassuring that you’re doing things right? All of this makes you want to just hide from the world?
Does the constant stress cause you to feel so overwhelmed that you’re often crying or screaming at your children—or even worse—distancing yourself from your children so that you can protect them from your anger or completely ignoring your children’s needs?
Are your children’s behavior or their reactions towards you worrying you and making you feel like you’re not good enough to be their parent? Does this make you feel little or no sense of self-worth? Even after all the therapy and knowing that the abuse was not your fault—do you still feel vulnerable?
Do you feel like a failure because your life is not the way you know it can—and should be – even after all the hard work you’ve done to understand yourself?
If you’re a sexual abuse victim who is experiencing any of these interpersonal and social skills problems—even after therapy—and they are interfering with your job, or ruining your relationship with your spouse, or your children, or making it hard to develop the close friendships you so long for, and
Desperately want to drop these unproductive patterns and adopt new clear-cut skills to help you trust others and love your family without fear; to end your hyper-vigilance and self-doubt in new or unfamiliar social situations; and, to finally build a life that makes you feel worthy and self-confident and deserving—whether at work or with your children or when developing new friendships—
AND if you want to accomplish these goals, focusing on your strengths – your amazing intuition and sensitivity which naturally will draw the right types of people [and avoid those you’re not interested in] and help you access the right types of responses to life situations – so you are gracefully and flexibly in control —Then I can help you.
My Breakthrough the Scars Process will help you to improve your interpersonal relationships by bridging the social skills gap left by your sexual abuse trauma. You will learn what to say and do at work, with your children, with family and friends, as well as in in new social situations to make sure that you get the respect you’ve earned at work, are loved by your children, and are comfortable in any social environment.
I will help you not just survive, but actually THRIVE
It took me years to learn how to make my life work and so I know that I can get you where you want to be because the 6 steps I found during my journey that worked for me.
But, I don’t want you to have to learn these lessons the hard way like I did and that’s why I’m making my battle-tested method available to you NOW—so you can win your own battle with the interpersonal relationship fallout of childhood sexual abuse—but with far less scars.
As an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, by the early 90’s my life was in a shambles. Flashbacks, nightmares, and depression were my constant companions. My social life was embarrassingly deficient and dysfunctional. Therapy led me to understand that I was suffering from PTSD and helped me heal from the emotional scars and trauma of the abuse.
But, therapy did not prepare me to properly interact with others outside the cocoon of my therapeutic relationships. I still needed to learn the social skills that I never learned as a damaged child or suffering adult. Social interactions left me wracked with anxiety and hyper-vigilant.
I could not even imagine comfortably interacting with strangers. Even in the safety of large family gatherings I was so scared at the thought of having to interact with everyone that I would always keep my back to the wall and I would start to panic if too many people gathered around me.
My fears and anxiety and discomfort were so crippling I was paralyzed and incapable of taking action, making decisions or accomplishing anything. At 30 years old, with only a high school education, I felt the only thing I was qualified to do was work at burger joints being supervised by teenage managers. It was demeaning. I was sick of living like this.
Worse was the overwhelming sense of foreboding that I couldn’t shake—like my worst fears were going to come true. I feared that not only was my life in ruins, but that I was about to ruin my own sweet daughter’s life. And my daughter was my life’s dream come true.
After struggling for 15 years to have my daughter I could in no way let the dysfunction in my life create dysfunction in her life. All I ever wanted from the time I was a child was to be a wonderful, loving, successful mother. Whatever decision I had to make or whatever I had to do to prevent this dysfunctional cycle from continuing, I would make that change!
This decision gave my life and my struggles new purpose, direction, and true meaning. This decision helped me to confront my fears instead of running away from them.
Since then not one day has gone by, not one single day, when I haven’t consciously taken at least one step to create a better life for me and my daughter.
Once I made the decision that it was more important to me to be the kind of mom that would give my daughter the best chance to have the quality of life she deserves – and break the dysfunctional cycle—I felt more in control than I have ever felt. And amazingly, I discovered that confronting my fears actually gave me my power back.
It hasn’t been easy. In reality it’s often been really tough some days. I’ve had to stumble through painfully embarrassing conversations and resist the urge to run away and hide from the world, instead I started forcing myself to linger after church and chat with church members.
Now I have learned to be a voice for others going through difficult struggles of their own.
But, I had to make all these decisions and put them into action by myself alone.  Going forward I was always journaling the mistakes I made and immediately set out to correct them. Now when I need information about something I find someone adept in that area. Often, I only had my faith in God to rely on to give me the strength and courage to continue.
While I am still shy with people—at first—I no longer run and hide in a corner. I confront my fears head-on. Every day, I continually challenge myself to do new things and put myself in new social situations.
I joined and actively participate in a women’s group that loves to go to the symphony and to the theater to see the newest movie in town or even the newest Opera.
I went back to college and excelled as a student, overcoming my shyness and fear of social interaction because my need to learn was more important than the fear of raising my hand and asking questions.
Getting started on my education led me to becoming an author. I have authored three books “Scar Wars Forged In Fright” is the story of my overcoming a severely abusive childhood and the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that I unknowingly suffered with for years afterwards, and my eventual first steps on the road to healing and recovery through therapy.
I continued writing and self-published my second book “The Thinnest Loser”, a story about what happens when you do not confront an unacceptable behavior in its early stages.(Available only on Amazon Kindle)
I am now writing my third book ” Creating a Prayer Relationship” and hoping to publish it by early 2016.
Writing, publishing, marketing, and building a social platform online all took me through social interactions and situations which I have not only survived, but taught me to Thrive while interacting with new people.
Just in the last year …
I have become a Certified Professional Coach with the International Coach Certification Academy
I’m a member of the National Association of Non-Fiction Authors
I have become a member of the National Association of Professional women
I  have become a volunteer expert for AllExperts.com for Living With Disabilities
I have become a member of the Lunchtime Bloggers Meetup Group
I have become a member of the Pen and Plot Writer’s Group
I have become a member of Toastmasters
I am a socially active member of my church
And I am now a Hospice Volunteer.
I have numerous social accounts including Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Aboutme.com, and LinkedIn where I frequently and consistently interact
Most importantly, I have raised a daughter who is socially adept. I am SO proud of her and also proud of myself. Although my daughter is shy around strangers at first—just like her mom—she is not paralyzed by social interactions and is active in many social functions. She was even a Varsity cheerleader. For the first time, I know what it is to enjoy my life.
YOU too CAN reach this same level of contentment, joy and confidence. I KNOW that YOU CAN OVERCOME your own interpersonal struggles. YOU CAN LEARN the social skills that will make you feel comfortable while mingling with other people. My Progressive Goal Setting Program will teach you steps to take to meet your own social goals. I know how to help you do this and get you far more comfortable as you develop the tools you need to both envision and achieve your very own happy healthy future.
This is why I have designed my Breakthrough the Scars Coaching Program.  Six Steps that give you the tools to stop the dysfunction and create a positive approach to people and situations in your own life.
  1.   Decide what you really want & what makes it so meaningful to you. The best way to control your future is to choose it. So, when you decide your future, you control it.
 2. Safely Confront your worst fear—not running away from it. When you can NAME it. You can TAME it.
 3. Create a new story to share with others. If your life was a GREAT made-for-television movie, how would you want it to be viewed? If you can imagine your new story then you’ll know what to do each day to create it.
 4. Take ONE action every day that will move you towards the story you’ve designed for your life.
 5. Eliminate dysfunctional ideas by learning new patterns on how to make healthy decisions for you and your family’s sake.
 6. Go from Survivor to Thriver – Life is so much more satisfying when we can actually thrive and enjoy it.
I have learned that confronting fear gives me back my power and confidence. No one should live locked away and imprisoned for life—especially after surviving abuse. The world is an amazing and beautiful place—and you have the right to enjoy it. That privilege is one I want you to reach out and grab.
I am not a therapist. I am here to help you “after” you have started the healing process. Therapy unlocks the door of your cage.
Now it’s time to develop the courage and confidence to step out into the light and explore your world.
Now is the time to use the tools you will learn through my program to enjoy your new freedom.
Now is the time to find your purpose and learn about joy.
Take my hand. You don’t have to go it alone like I did. I understand. I know. I have been there. I know about putting the broken pieces back together. You CAN make this journey. AND, you don’t have to do it alone. We can do this together. Your success and freedom are closer than you think.
“Julie is a precious gift to those of us who really need someone who understands how it feels to juggle a lot of inner conflict, and who knows how to help us make some sense of our lives. I know she helped me!” Mia Landau
 “Julie Pitts has been my friend for thirty-five years – a friend in every good sense of that word. She does not intrude or push, but is a great support to me during times of crisis. Seeing her strength and perseverance while she dealt with PTSD has inspired me on my own journey learning to live in peace with Bipolar Disorder.
I would recommend Julie Pitts to ANYONE that is going through struggles of their own. – Dawn E. Smith
“Julie Pitts is one of the most determined persons I have known. She came to me seeking help after a very devastating experience with another therapist. Julie was determined not to give up and she did not give up but she gave it her all to strengthen herself and overcome the effects of the abuse she had experienced. While in therapy Julie reached out to others and shared her experiences and listened to others and learned from them. She is truly a remarkable person who is now ready to lend a hand to others and share her experiences with the hope of being a beacon for someone else. This takes a special person and Julie is that person. I wish her well.” – Judy A. Glaister, PhD
“Julie, having been through all that she has, is a loving, caring, compassionate and grounded coach who is able relate to her clients in a very tangible way, walk with them and help them move forward to a place of peace and readiness to embrace life in their own way.  I had the pleasure of working with her one-to-one and in a group setting and found her to be very professional and empathetic, and someone who truly has a heart for her work in helping others.” – Sheryl Floris C.P.C.
Call: for a free 30 minute session
or you can email and ask questions at authorjlpitts@yahoo.com


About authorjlpitts

J.L. Pitts is a Non-Fiction writer. She blogs about her faith and writes probing articles on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is also a poet. Her newest book was published recently "Scar Wars Forged In Fight" is already stirring the nest in her memoir with a tell-all format. She is writing her third book also a non-fiction work about creating a closer walk with God. She is now a Certified Professional Counselor who specializes in helping clients to become at ease in any social situation. She herself learned these tactics after her own treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder showed her the gap in evolving in a therapeutic setting and evolving in today's society. Horrified by the fact that 22 soldiers diagnosed with PTSD commit suicide every day induced her to start this blog to reach out and connect with anyone dealing with PTSD and needing a hand back into society. As a Certified Group Facilitator she has started a Meetup Group for PTSD and is currently seeking a venue in the Huntsville, Alabama area. She has been sought out by radio talk shows on the internet and people with Podcasts that are booming. She feels younger every day because she stays so active Add to all that she is a Freelance Writer who never misses a deadline. Most of her free time is spent building a website for her career. You can check out the unfinished site at http://authorjlpitts.wix.com/authorjlpitts
This entry was posted in Certified Personal Coach, Certified Professional Coach, Coaching Practice, Depression, J.L. Pitts, Joy, Life of Abundance, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Today is a Good Day and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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