Well this comes from a hospital bed in the ER. Pain is tolerable and my stomach isn’t cramping anymore. They think it’s just my IBS acting up it is supposed to be brought on by stress. I do have some stress going on right now. It is my book,, it has been edited and is ready for publication. The Publisher will not be open until January 5, 2015. It is not like l am nervous about the deadline the book is complete, and ready to print.
It is about the impact this book will have on the people who choose to read it. “Scar Wars Forged In Fright” is the memoir of my life up until to about age 30. It is all about what caused Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to almost destroy my life. The journey that took me from America, Asia, Europe, and back to the United States all the while dealing with nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks and sadly many times I almost took my own life. UNTIL I found help for the PTSD. I was nine when the nightmares began. 5 years old is the first time I was sexually abused but that was a hidden memory for many years. The totality of my abuse is not represented fully in the book, there were just too many instances of abuse.
What I do worry about is the effect the book will have on people who will choose to read it The fact that the subject matter is so intense makes the book all most seem like a thriller. I worry about people who are beginning to heals from childhood sexual, mental, and physical abuse that the intense setting and childlike graphic detail of what actually happened to me may trigger their own symptoms of PTSD. I do not want people struggling with the very things I was fighting my way through. I feel like there should be some kind of warning on the cover.
I also worry the effect it WILL have on my family of origin. We have all grown and healed to different extents, I do not wish to bring more pain to their lives. I have been told by a nephew never to contact him again and my baby sister who was fortunately for the most part saved from the horrors of our childhood because she was so young that she does not remember that kind of abuse happening in our home, has told me She will never read the book because she cannot handle the abuse that “I went through”. I understand that because, I too, would never want to know that kind of abuse if it had not ever touched my life.
This book is about the journey to healing I took and along my journey some incredible people were placed in my life that nurtured and loved me.
Every Author wants to be successful.and sell as many books as they can I just pray that people who read this book will not be traumatized by it. There is hope and healing for anyone who suffers from PTSD I am living proof you can heal and have a better life. You just have to keep telling yourself during the healing process to STAY THE COURSE. AND KNOW GOD ON A VERY PERSONAL LEVEL…