Where I Belong

You know something I am 48 years old and I am living a brand new life. It is like going from high school to College and then Graduating and beginning  the life that was meant for you to have. When I was a child my main goal was to become a good Mother and have a lot of children. I wanted not to just do it better than my parents, but to raise my children correctly.  I struggled with Fertility problems for 15 years but at 32 was finally blessed with a perfect little girl. And when I held my baby in my arms I knew I had accomplished the goal I had set for my life. And 15 years later I can tell you that She has been raised correctly. She is a sweet, kind self assured young lady. She is a Christian and stands behind her beliefs. and that makes her strong of heart and soul.

So when you accomplish the goal you had set for your life what do you do after that? Well in High School I always made very good grades and scored extremely high on state testing. That was mostly because I was introverted and I had a lot of time to study. Math was the bane of my existence, but science I loved Science I took Biology one as a required course and took Biology 2 as an elective. My High School Guidance Counselor kept placing me in the College Bound courses and since my personal goal was to be a mother it infuriated me when I was not allowed to take the classes like Home Economics. Instead of the College Bound courses. That Guidance Counselor had my life all planned out for me. She had made her mind up that I was going to go to college. And my only wish in my heart was to be be a good wife and Mother.

My life took the path I had chosen and yet I struggled with infertility for 15 years trying to have a healthy baby/ Bu then she came and I was totally fulfilled. Until she ran off to get an education and left me standing crying on the sidewalk as she walked herself to her Kindergarten class. Yes, I had raised her correctly she loved learning and was a sociable child and did very well in Kindergarten. I on the other hand had hours with no one around again. So I looked at my life and said okay New Goal. Now I am College Bound! And I went to College after being out of high school for 16 years and aced the entry exam and Started immediately taking my core classes. I thrived in College. But my husband received a lucrative job offer in another state and we moved and the program I had in Florida that was giving me a full ride was not duplicated in the state we moved to when he got the job. There was the possibility of me still going back to college but it would mean Student Loans and we already owed them over 40,000 for my husbands college years. So that dream was lost.

I languished for many years struggling with Major Depressive Disorder and Postpartum depression that turned into Psychosis. I was on heavy doses of medication just to be able to function as a Good Mother. So while I struggled with Mental Health issues really I could not focus on anything more than keeping it together so my child would have a normal, happy, well adjusted life. Those were dark over-medicated years. From the time my daughter turned 8 until this year when she turned 15 Were simply on Survival mode.

But I received a different kind of treatment for my mental health problems and it helped so much I was able to get off some of the medications (yes plural, as in more than 1) and the other medications I had to stay on their dosages were drastically reduced. I was able to think again. And I chose another goal I had for my life and I wrote a book on what had actually created the mental health problems in me and the funny thing was after I wrote it I felt so satisfied that I just put it away in a file on my computer for about a year. Then God stepped in. And boy have the changes been coming! I found a publisher for that book and was told in June of this tear the Release Date would not be until January 3, 2015, That was like making  a chocolate lover sniff chocolate but not give them any. I found out through some resources I could publish my own book for free on Amazon Kindle Direct. The book I had already written was under contract so if I wanted to become a published Author any time soon I would have to write a whole new book. So I did. “The Thinnest Loser Confessions of an Unreformed Bulimic” was about my decision after trying to get treatment for my bulimia and failing two times that I decided I had to learn to live with it. The book stands as a warning that if you think you can control an eating disorder you are fooling yourself. Well it was more of a Novella. But I published the second book I had written first and in less than two months my first book will be published by a traditional publisher.

I also got a Freelance Writing Job with a company that lures you in saying you will make $1,78 per work order and most are at least 300 words or more in length. True to their word I can make that mush per order. The hook is I have not made a name for myself and so no one is going to choose me to create an order. To actually make money you have to go to the Assignment Board and hope there is a job open for your level of expertise. I am brand new to Freelance Writing so t hey can start you anywhere from level one, having no experience, to level five a writer with years of experience. You have to be tested and submit three writing samples and then they put you on the level they think is appropriate for your level of expertise. I was shocked when they emailed me and hired me at level three without having any writing experience at all in the Freelance Writing field. But no one knows about me yet, so of course  no one has picked me for a specific order. But I go to the Assignment Board and write content for pennies on the dollar. I make anywhere from two to four dollars per article. I write as many articles as come my way in my level. I have even had to learn how to do HTML coding for this job.

Then I hear about a company that pays eight to twenty-five dollars an article . I learned about them late at night but instead of going to bed getting some much needed rest I decide to join and take their writing tests you only get two chances to get it right. One of the rules is that you cannot open another tab or click off onto another page well the first try the computer was acting up because it is on like sixteen hours everyday.  And it was as tired as I was and I made some mistake and hit some button when I was almost finished with the test and closed the screen. I therefore failed the test. But it gave you another chance and I completed the test and was about to hit grade my test when for no reason the mouse zoomed to the top of the page ending the entire internet connection. I had permanently failed the test.  Today I was feeling refreshed and so had my computer so I took the test passed it and now am a Freelance Content provider for them, but the first thing it said when I logged in was “Sorry we have no jobs for you at this time.  I checked at a different time of day and again it said no jobs available. I would be disheartening if I was really wanting a freelance career but it is just a way to make extra money for me.

So Let me tell you about my career choice now. I am studying to be a Life Coach in the niche of Fertility and High Risk Pregnancy. I started training a few days ago and I am loving it. I can complete the course in 12 weeks if I do the work right on schedule but if anything were to happen with my daughter there would be no worries because I have up until one year to finish the course. I am aiming for 12 weeks. So tomorrow has almost come and I need rest so that I may function at my very best. So I will leave you with this food news and  finish my nightly routine and then go to bed.


About authorjlpitts

J.L. Pitts is a Non-Fiction writer. She blogs about her faith and writes probing articles on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is also a poet. Her newest book was published recently "Scar Wars Forged In Fight" is already stirring the nest in her memoir with a tell-all format. She is writing her third book also a non-fiction work about creating a closer walk with God. She is now a Certified Professional Counselor who specializes in helping clients to become at ease in any social situation. She herself learned these tactics after her own treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder showed her the gap in evolving in a therapeutic setting and evolving in today's society. Horrified by the fact that 22 soldiers diagnosed with PTSD commit suicide every day induced her to start this blog to reach out and connect with anyone dealing with PTSD and needing a hand back into society. As a Certified Group Facilitator she has started a Meetup Group for PTSD and is currently seeking a venue in the Huntsville, Alabama area. She has been sought out by radio talk shows on the internet and people with Podcasts that are booming. She feels younger every day because she stays so active Add to all that she is a Freelance Writer who never misses a deadline. Most of her free time is spent building a website for her career. You can check out the unfinished site at http://authorjlpitts.wix.com/authorjlpitts
This entry was posted in Author, College Bound, Freelance Writer, Learning the Law of Attraction, Life of Abundance, Motherhood, Publishing a Book, Today is a Good Day and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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