?The Thinnest Loser-Confessions Of An Unreformed Bulimic”
This is the title of the book that I just published on Kindle Direct Publishing. It is about how I have come to deal with the eating disorder Bulimia.
This will be a controversial book because I am not writing about healing from this disorder. This is not a typical self help book. This is about how I have learned to deal with being an unreformed bulimic with Anorexic tendencies.
Inside this book you learn the thought processes my mind goes through to even acknowledge this is a problem. I am not looking for help for myself. What I am hoping to do is warn others with this disorder without proper treatment they will become a hardened bulimic like me. I am the thinnest loser in many ways. I was down to one hundred and twenty-two pounds but because of all the extra skin I had from distorting my body and stretching the skin to the point where it lost its elasticity. My true weight without all the excess skin was probably more like one hundred pounds. That was the lowest weight I reached but I had already tried to figure out what the lowest weight my organs and bones needed to weigh and let me still be able to live. That number was below one hundred. I started off with a certain weight in my mind and I kept telling myself if I got to that weight then I would just stop being bulimic because I would have magically arrived at my sacred number! It did not work like that. The story of living my life with this eating disorder is not encouraging on its own. But I tell the story in hopes that others will not let their eating disorders stick around and just become part of their lives. I hope it makes them realize the quicker they get help the quicker they can start a healing journey. I have conceded to my eating disorder and in the book I tell exactly what path this eating disorder is going to take me.
I never thought the first book I would ever publish would be about my eating disorder. I have hidden it for eighteen years. And, yes, I know I will probably get some stares and whispering among the other moms that will make me feel uneasy. But you see on January 3, 2015 My book “Scar Wars-Forged In Fright” will be published by my publisher and it talks all about the other mental heath diagnoses I have. Bulimia is just one area where I fight mental illness. “Scar Wars-Forged In Fright” is the first book in a trilogy. When I sent that book to my publisher I realized that with the next two books the outlines for both of them did not deal with the Bulimia. Really Bulimia or any eating disorder is a stand alone mental illness. It cannot be medicated away. I felt compelled to share my story by using Kindle Direct Publishing because even though it is not addressed in the “Scar Wars” trilogy it is a major mental health problem that I feel compelled to write about at this point in my life.
“The Thinnest Loser-Confessions Of An Unreformed Bulimic” is not on the market to make me rich. Even if it does sell the royalties are very low. But this book is about what happens to a person who refuses to deal with a mental illness and. really, I hope it scares people into making the right decision for their lives. That they get into therapy, or an eating disorder treatment facility, and if nothing else to come clean about it to their doctor so that he/she can know exactly how to treat them medically. That is important because I did not tell any doctor for years and now I have many health problems. Problems that could have been avoided if I had just been honest with the doctor from the start. I am the thinnest loser and the outcome for the thinnest loser is death.